maddash

I am not a particularly religious person. I believe there is a God. I am just not sure he believes in me.  I have always tried to lead a Christian life. I think that is a good thing and I feel better for it.   The writings of Henry David Thoreau have had a profound effect on my thinking and actions. Probably not as much as Christian teachings, but definitely a factor in the way I think.  Linda and I are approaching a new adventure in our lives. We intend to leave Florida, after 30 years, in a few months. In preparation, we have been discarding all those "things" that we find unnecessary in our lives. At first, it was a chore. As we progressed, it became an obsession and especially for me, a necessity. As we threw away, sold or gave away "things", we frantically looked for more items to dispose of. It became a game. Here is the funny part. After a few weeks, we can't remember what we got rid of. Maybe that set of candles given to us as a present man...

Last week I faced the prospect of kidney cancer. I found out I really had it. The surgeons say they got it all. Someone called me a "cancer survivor" today. I don't feel like one. I have survived a week. I don't have complete control over my emotions much anymore.  I cry at stupid things. 

My Brother-in-Law and Friend, Chuck I have many memories of Chuck after John and I were wed. I remember the Sue and Chuck’s wedding with the antique cars. Lisa was just a month old and we sat in the back of the church. I was very grateful she slept through the entire wedding. Lady Girl had been used for breeding and she quit going through heat. The owners had no use for her and added her to their auction. I got to know Chuck when be bought a St. Bernard at this auction for $5. All I could see was her head in the back of his Karman Ghia. Lady Girl was our love and lived with us for 3 years before she died. If it hadn’t been for Chuck’s kind heart at that auction we would not have had such a great dog. We remember how careful she was with Lisa (toddler) and was very protective. I remember Lisa telling me of the adventures of the 2 brothers in John’s pickup truck (green Ford with 2 stick shift levers). John had a tendency to allow the gas lever to reach empty, how empty could it...

In memory of my dearest brother Chuck,   There are so many memories as we all grew up together. One of my fondest memories would be going to the movies with Chuck, and seeing "Star Wars."   It was just the two of us. I am fortunate to have two wonderful brothers, John and Chuck.   I don't know what I will do without them. Chuck is one of kind.   A generous person, kind, loving and giving person.   He got this personality from Mom of course.    We lost Mom this past year.  It has been a hard year for all of us in the Peterson family.  May our memories stay within our hearts and always will be.   I am just glad I got to spend some time with Chuck at the lake helping him with the cottage. Those memories will always stay with me.   He would always tease me, just like old times.    I can remember the dishtowel flick that Chuck and Mom always did.    Boy, those were hard flicks.  How i miss those memories.  Chuck is now up there with Mom and watching over us. Now he will be for...

Linda and I have been crying a lot lately. It is random. Little things set us off. Our only child, Lisa, has been gone now for nine years. There is no way it has been that long. I think of her every day. Now......my only brother, Chuck, is in a battle for his life. When I suspected that something was drastically wrong with Lisa. I stopped my truck along US 19 and got down on my knees and prayed that she was all right. She was not. I have been praying every day, all day for my brother. He is not responding. If anyone else tells me that again that God is calling them home. I will lose it.

I miss the black and white world of the 50's. Latta Lake, Rome City, Indiana. This photo was published in the Ft. Wayne News Sentinel. 

We spent New Years day at the Outback Bowl in Tampa. Jan 1, 2000  Our only child, Lisa died on Nov 30, 1999. Linda and I had become recluse and depressed.  We were still working but living life was a chore. My dear friend Royal and his wife Susan insisted we go to the Outback Bowl in Tampa, on New Years Day.  They bought us tickets and insisted.  I didn't realize at the time, it was the best therapy we could have been prescribed.   We escaped our grief for a couple hours with new sights, sounds and noise.   I could have gone home after the National anthem and been happy.   As Charlie Daniels hit the last note of the anthem we were treated to a "flyover" of the stadium by four fighter jets from McDill Airforce base. Immediately after that four sky divers from the base made a dramatic fall to the center of the football field.   Very awe inspiring and for few moments we left our world of despair.  Incidently, there was ...

We have this dog. His name is Max. I think it is short for Maxwell. My wife Linda and my dear departed daughter, Lisa, adopted Max from a Cocker Spaniel rescue agency. Never, ever pick out the smallest, paranoid dog in the corner of the room. That dog might be Max. Max is my cross to bear, my nemesis. I am sure Lisa is laughing from heaven. Max is Linda's dog and I am Max's private walker. Max has curious walking habits. He only walks in 90 degree angles. Heaven forbid he ever cross over the corner to get to the sidewalk. Only 90 degree angles. Max only poops on the yellow center line of the road. Of course, after taking a 90 degree route to get there. The world that Max walks in is not part of ours. He hears planes far out of sight, and refuses to walk. He hears traffic from Alt 19 (about a mile away) and refuses to walk. He hears Ospreys screaching in the distance, he stops..refuses to walk. Max has excellent hearing. Walking with Max is a chore ...